you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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