I can feel you judging me through the phone.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
