Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
