he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
