:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I AM VODKA MAN
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
