He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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