Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
