Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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