all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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