i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
home. puking in laundry basket.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
