sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
