rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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