You really coming over, don't trick.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
