Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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