it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
