Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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