This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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