He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
