did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
