so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just forgot I was standing up.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
