last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
