so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
