i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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