Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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