This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
