It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
