im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
my shit smells like andre
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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