She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
