But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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