with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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