Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
