Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
