I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize
