so explain again why im purple
no
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
