Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
