She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
FUCK WHALES
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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