He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize