I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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