I'll bet she douches with gravy.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
