you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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