Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
