ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
