Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Randomize