Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
