I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
