found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
