Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
