I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
