the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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