White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize