Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
