I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
