I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
