I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
