His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize