its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
