Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
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