can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
