im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
honey bunches of taint.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
