Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
