..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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