remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
