just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
